Without sex, my mind was clearer so I could trust decisions I made or emotions I felt were not part of the hangover.
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Although we tend to think of intimacy in sexual way, intimacy is total mind and spirit as well. My partner and I spent a lot of time talking and doing activities. We wanted to have sex, but in order to respect the journey I was on we had to come up with creative ways to avoid the temptation.
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We probably used every Living Social coupon available and asked each other every question we could think of and more. We had to find a way to achieve that closeness that usually comes with sex while you are in love without having sex. As a result we shared many more experiences, talked more, and grew closer in a different way. I was good to myself in that relationship.
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Removing sex, like any sacrifice, was difficult. But I made a promise to myself not to bond myself to someone else in that way until I reached the level of self-awareness and self-care that I needed and wanted. Keeping sex off the table allowed me be more aware of my feelings, my space, and not getting lost in love. When this relationship had run its course, the heartbreak was different.
Celibacy made breaking ties easier. So there was peace in my heart and no regrets. Everyone handles sex differently.
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I needed this time of celibacy although not everyone will. For me, sacrificing sex was a personal challenge and took me to deeper levels of the relationship I had with men and with myself.
MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American women the latest in fashion trends, black entertainment news, parenting tips and beauty secrets that are specifically for black women. Not necessarily, relationship expert Chantal Heide says, but it has the potential to negatively affect a partnership.
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Busy schedules can also be a factor, especially for parents who are exhausted from juggling work and parenting duties, Heide adds. Probably, so look up a good therapist if this is the relationship you want to stay in, and address this issue before it tears you apart. Lack of sex between two people in a relationship can also cause insecurities in one or both partners as well, Heide points out.
Talking to a professional and exploring your personal reflection will help guide you towards the next step, she says. And make sure to often ask yourself what you want in the relationship. Please read our Commenting Policy first.